


We push and pull like a magnet do

by xmyxedsheeranfanfiction



Category: Ed Sheeran (Musician)
Genre: F/M, Love at First Sight, Realistic, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2020-10-05 11:40:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20488295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xmyxedsheeranfanfiction/pseuds/xmyxedsheeranfanfiction
Summary: Meet Hana, a lonely shy and awkward 22-year-old from Stockholm. She has never been in love before, never had a serious relationship, constantly waiting for someone to arrive at her doorstep and take her away. Just before she decided to give up on love, a charming ginger man appeared in her life, and everything changed.





	1. Prologue

Tuesday 20th of August 2019

Diary entry 1

I’ve never been in love. You know the “butterflies in my stomach”-kind of love. Sure, I’ve had my fair share of crushes, been on a few dates, but they’ve always ended quickly. In my 22 years on this planet, I have yet to meet someone that makes my palms sweaty and makes my heart race, or someone that takes my breath away. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever approached someone out of personal interest. I have always been the type to wait for someone or something major to happen to me. I’m an introvert, I hardly have any friends, and the friends I do have, I barely spend time with. Truth to be told, I spend most of my time with my little sister, 8 years younger than me. It used to concern me that I spend more time with my family than I do with other people, but nowadays I don’t find myself really caring much. I’ve come to terms with my life and besides, huge crowds and loud environments give me anxiety. So, I’d much rather stay away from it all.

I’m currently living at home, with my sister and my mother, I do not have a degree and I’m currently employed as a temporary teacher in social science and religion at my childhood school. If someone told me 10 years ago that this would be my life, I would’ve laughed. I had big plans before, I wanted to pursue a career in psychology or music and I always imagined myself to be married at 25 and have a kid by 27. Everyone always said how well planned my life was and how to put together I seemed. No one expected me to end up where I am today. You see I come from a very cultural family. I’m Persian, and so my family have always had big expectations from me, ever since I was a child. But now I’m not my uncle's favourite niece anymore and no one really says anything about me. I suppose my attitude towards life doesn’t really help, but neither does their attitude towards me. Now don’t get me wrong, my mum and my sister have always given me their full support, but I guess somewhere down the line, even they expected more.

It wasn’t until this June, a few weeks before school finished and I’d be on holiday from work, that I decided that I needed a break. So my mum suggested that I should travel back home to Iran, to visit my family. And so here I am, and here’s where I’ve been for the past two months. Its been refreshing to spend time with family and I feel a bit better I guess, most of all I feel well-rested, ready for a new year at work. Throughout the time that I’ve been here, my family have tried to find me a husband, but I’ve declined them all. I long to meet someone that will sweep me off my feet. Call me childish but I still believe in romance.


	2. Chapter one

**Chapter 1**

“Hana are you ready? We have to go to the airport now” I heard my aunt yell from downstairs, just as I finished writing my first real diary entry. Recently I had decided to keep a diary of my feelings, to keep track of them, hopefully.

“I’m coming, just give me five minutes” I yell back as I zip my last bag up, adding my diary to the rest of my hand luggage. Tonight I was flying back home to Stockholm, although I had a long 7-hour stopover in Qatar, before getting home. I sighed and got up, looking at myself in the mirror briefly. My big dark brown eyes stared back at me as I coated my eyelashes clumsily with some mascara, giving my complexion some life. Lastly, I adjusted the headscarf I had to wear because of the laws in Iran, put some lipgloss on and went downstairs, where my aunt was waiting, an annoyed expression on her face.

“Are you all ready now?” she asked again and I just nodded. We left the house and got into the taxi that was waiting for us outside. The usual busy street was quiet and it was pitch black outside. The driver immediately started his engine and we were on our way to the airport here in Mashhad. On our way there we were both quiet, and I just spent the following half-hour, listening to music and looking out the window. I closed my eyes as the soothing voice of Ed Sheeran filled my ears and I found myself releasing a breath I didn’t know I was holding. I had been listening to his music for years, way before he became as famous as he is now. He always calmed me down, and I could always relate to his music, even the painful ones.

“Stop daydreaming Hana, we are here now” my aunt said, and pulled my earpods out of my ears. I just blinked and got out of the car, grabbing my suitcase and my handluggage from the driver. I kept silent as we walked up to the terminal. As we got to the point where my aunt had to leave me, I turned around and gave her a hug.

“Thank you for everything these past two months auntie, I’ve had a really good time” I said and she gave me a small smile.

“Anytime Hana, please make sure to call when you get home, Inshallah (God Willing)” she said and I nodded.

“Don’t worry I will call you as soon as I’m home, Inshallah” I said and gave her one last hug before I left her. I walked towards the check in and consciously wrapped my headscarf tighter around my hair. I always got nervous at the check in at this airport, they looked at your headscarf with critical eyes. Thankfully I got through check in and security smoothly and now I was at my gate, waiting for my first flight. It was currently 4:30 am, and we should be boarding anytime now. I sit myself down and sure enough, about 10 minutes later its time to board. Soon enough, I’m in my seat and I close my eyes and put on music as the air hostess goes through security and the plane starts moving.

Approximately 2,5 hours later

Before I knew it, we had reached Doha, and I was exhausted. I walked towards the airport transit part and sighed as I looked at the clock and realised that I had a full 7 hours to spend here. I walked around until I found an empty row of chairs. I sat myself down at the very edge, giving myself four seats so I could lay down. I took my diary out and started to write a little as I listened to music. About an hour or so later, I noticed a guy approaching this row and my eyes followed him, hoping he would avoid my row. Unfortunately, he sat down at the other end of my row. I sighed and took a look at him. He looked odd. He sported a navy oversized hoodie, baggy jeans and converses. He had the hood up and these big sunglasses on. His luggage purely consisted of this old rucksack and a guitar. I found myself getting curious about him, and why he was hiding his face. After a while I shrugged and returned to my writing, he didn’t seem interested in me anyway. 

Soon I found myself engrossed in my writing and I completely forgot that he was sitting there. I was writing about my deepest feelings and confessions, things I had never told anyone. Halfway through I realised that I still was wearing my headscarf, so I put my pen down, and put my diary on one of the empty seats, as I took off my headscarf. I pulled my hair out of the tight bun I had put it in and I could smell my shampoo as my hair fell down, reaching my waist. I ran my fingers through my hair, smiling slightly as I finally felt like myself again. Somewhere along the lines, I felt like someone was watching me, so I took my ear pods out of my ears and took a look around. Sure enough, the guy had now moved to one of the seats closer to me and was looking at me with a small smile on his face. I blushed and looked away, why was he being so weird?

**Ed’s Pov (briefly)**

Damn airports. They’re so cold and empty, especially at this hour. And on top of it all every shop is closed as well. My original flight from Tokyo had been delayed so I was already in a bad mood as I entered the airport of Doha, on a stopover for three hours until I could finally get on my plane home to London. I have been on a break from everything for a year, travelling, relaxing and just finding myself again, not been on any social media either. It’s been refreshing, but I have to admit, towards the end it’s been lonely and boring. I couldn’t wait to get back into writing and performing now, it had almost been like an itch needed to be scratched after a while.

I shook my head, walking through the transit area. Damn airports, you can never find a place to relax. As I reach the end of the transit area, I sigh as I spot an empty row of chairs. Well, almost empty, there was this girl sat at the very end of the row, and she had her bags on two of the chairs, assumingly so she could lay down. There was something different about her. She was wearing this coat that looked too big on her, hiding her body from peoples view, and she had her hair covered under a tightly wrapped headscarf, a tiny strand of hair peeked through from underneath and I could see her hair was a rich dark brown colour. I was instantly fascinated by her. She had her earpods in so she couldn’t hear me as I approached the row of chairs, and she had this journal type thing that she was writing in. I decided I’d let her be, she seemed busy and from the way she was dressed, I assumed I shouldn’t approach her.

As I sat down, her eyes suddenly snapped up and I could see how she stared at me, well at what she could see of me as I was wearing clothes that would cover my face and my hair up. For a moment she looked at me, but I couldn’t tell what went through her mind before she sighed and went back to her journal and her writing. I looked the other way, figuring out that she wasn’t interested. After a while, I was getting bored so I took my phone out, logging into Instagram for the first time in a good few months. After a while, I was bored again, so I decided to look over to her side again. She seemed completely engrossed in whatever it was she was writing, her hands were moving fast and her brows were furrowed, and I could almost see her eyes glistening with tears. I wondered what she was writing about, and I couldn’t help but want to reach out and give her a hug.

I don’t know how long I spent looking at her before she suddenly put her pen down, and put her journal on the empty seat next to her. I quickly looked away, I didn’t want her to think I was some kind of freak. Suddenly I could smell this lovely scent, I couldn’t quite put my finger on what it was but it smelled nice, so I looked up and there she was. She had taken the scarf off and let her hair out. And she looked absolutely beautiful. She had long, thick hair, in that same shade of dark brown as that tiny piece of hair I had seen before. Her eyes were big and they were this rich shade of dark brown, almost black, but if you looked close enough you’d see that they were brown. Her lips were full and pink and her hands were tiny, as she ran her finger through her hair. I could feel myself smiling as I observed her. Suddenly she looked up and she saw me and I looked into her eyes for the first time and I couldn’t keep my eyes off her. She took my breath away.

**Hana’s Pov**

I cleared my throat and he took his sunglasses off. His eyes were piercing blue, and framed by these long blond eyelashes. From what I could see of his eyebrows, they looked ginger. He looked really familiar and I had this weird feeling.

“Uhmm sorry sir, can I help you?” I said quietly, the last thing I wanted was to talk to this guy, he made me feel really uncomfortable. He blinked and cleared his throat before he smiled.

“Uhmm no sorry, I promise I’m not a creep I was just curious that’s all.” He said in a thick British accent and I raised an eyebrow. I think he could tell that I wanted to leave the conversation at that because he suddenly took his hand out.

“I should probably tell you my name, I’m Ed,” he said, and I looked at him again before slowly grabbing his hand and shaking it. He smiled at me again.

“Uhmm I’m Hana,” I mumbled and let go of his hand quickly. I tried getting back to my journal, grabbing my pen and making myself comfortable, but he moved to the closest seat next to me and I rolled my eyes.

“So, Hana, where are you headed?” he asked and I could tell he was being careful with what he was saying.

“I’m going back home, to Sweden,” I said, deciding to not be too specific.

“Oh wicked, I’ve been in Sweden a few times, it's lovely there, whereabouts do you live if you don’t mind me asking?” he said and I shook my head.

“I’m sorry I don’t feel comfortable letting you know where I live,” I said slowly and his face dropped. We sat there for a while, in an awkward silence before I sighed and took a look at the time, I still had over 4 hours to go.

“That’s okay, how long until your flight comes?” he said suddenly and I looked up at him again, blinking. This guy really didn’t seem to get it. Why was he so interested in me?

“In over four hours,” I said and I couldn’t help but groan. He laughed at my expression and shook his head.

“Mine goes in about an hour, it’s a pity I can't stay here for long,” he said and for some reason, I felt sad, it was weird but I felt empty at the thought of him leaving me.

“You on your way to London?” I found myself asking without thinking and he nodded.

“Lucky, I love London,” I said and he smiled. After that, he didn’t say anything, and I didn’t either. After a while, I took out my phone and he looked over to me.

“Uhmm I was wondering if I could have your number?” he asked shyly and I could tell he had been thinking of asking me for a while. I blushed and looked down, but for some reason, I didn’t say no. I handed him my phone and he put his number in and then he handed his to me and I put mine in.

“Well Hana, it was lovely spending time with you, I’ll contact you once I land, and can you make sure you just pop me a text whenever you’re home?” he said and I just nodded. He smiled and said goodbye, grabbing his things, and putting his sunglasses on before he left. He gave me one last look as he walked away and I was filled with the same sad, empty feeling as before.

Who was he? And why did he care?


	3. Chapter two

**Chapter 2**

“Miss Hana, I can’t find the chapter on world war II!” one of my students whined as I was writing their assignments on the board. I sighed and made my way over to her.

“It’s on page 394, right after world war I, you can see it in the registry of the book,” I said softly and she nodded and got to work. I walked back over to the board, writing questions they had to answer after reading the chapter. After I was done, I sat down on my desk and started grading their papers from the week before. Before I knew it, this class was finished and I let the kids out as I cleaned in the classroom and grabbed my own supplies. I locked the door to the classroom and made my way to the staff room, sitting down in my office and taking a breath.

It had been a few weeks since I met that strange man at the airport. He never texted me, and I never texted him. I figured he was just bored, trying to make conversation, it probably didn’t mean anything else. A part of me was disappointed though, he was different, and I wanted to know who he was, and I really thought he liked me. I shook my head, trying to distract myself, of course, he wasn’t interested in me, no one ever was. I sat down, making myself busy with finalising some grades, and I was getting into it until my phone vibrated. I raised an eyebrow, no one messaged me during my working hours except my mum and my sister. I took my phone out and my eyes widened. He texted me. I immediately opened the text message.

**Ed: Hana? **

I blinked a few times, was that all? I sat there for a few minutes trying to think if I should answer or not, and before I could think any further, my phone vibrated again. I took a deep breath and opened the text message.

**Ed: I’m so sorry. I know I said I would contact you straight away but I had so much work to do when I got back home and on top of that my phone hasn’t been working. I was hoping I could make it up to you?**

I couldn’t help but smile as I read the text. He hadn’t forgotten about me. I put my phone away, collecting myself a little before thinking of what I would reply with. I didn’t want to be too open, I needed to find out who this guy was. And more importantly, why has it taken him this long? I’m sure there’s something else rather than the excuse he made.

**Me: Hey, It’s been ages haha. Thought you forgot about me…**

I bit my lip before pressing send. I didn’t have the time to check my phone though, as I had to get back to work. I grabbed the materials I had for my religion class with year 7 and went downstairs to the classroom. As I walked down the stairs, I felt my phone vibrate again, but I couldn’t answer. I felt oddly excited about his texts and I was so tempted to just grab my phone and see what he’d sent me, but I didn’t. I needed this job and I had to perform well. As I neared the classroom, I unlocked the door and the students followed me in.

“Good afternoon students” I said casually as I walked in and they all mumbled a reply back. As they sat down, I put my papers down and grabbed a marker for the board.

“Today we are moving on and we are going to spend some time learning about Islam,” I said and they all groaned at the sound of more homework and I laughed.

“Now don’t get too upset, I have a feeling that you’re going to enjoy this more than you think” I mused and they all groaned. I laughed lightly and continued with my lesson. Sometimes I loved my job. I spent the rest of the hour, going over the basics with them and giving them a topic to discuss and prepare presentations for. After the lesson, I cleaned up after us, locked the classroom and headed upstairs to grab my things and head home. I had practically forgotten about Ed until my phone vibrated again. I gulped and took my phone out, checking the messages. The first one was from two hours ago and the second one was sent just now.

**Ed: Of course not, how could I possibly forget you. I’m really sorry Hana. All I want is to get to know you a little, can I?**

**Ed: Hana? I didn’t mean to freak you out, I know this is all very strange, please give me a chance. **

I felt guilty about not telling him I was at work, he seemed genuinely upset. So I decided I’d text him again, but I had to find out who he was first, this all seemed too good to be true.

**Me: Sorry I’ve been at work, couldn’t reply to your first text. I don’t even know who you are Ed, you’ve seen more of me than I have of you…**

I bit my lip before sending the text, hoping that he’d reply soon. I grabbed my things and started walking home. The good thing about my job was that it was only a few minutes walk to my house. Within three minutes I was home and I unlocked the door and walked in. No one was home. I sighed and went into the room me and my sister shared to get changed. Once I had gotten comfy, my phone vibrated again and this time I had a strange feeling in my stomach, I’m not sure what it was but it was definitely some sort of excitement.

**Ed: Of course. The reason I haven’t told you is because I don’t want you to freak out. I wanted to keep things as natural as possible between us, but I understand if it's weird. My name is Ed. Ed Sheeran, and I am very much intrigued by you, Hana…**

I gasped as I looked at the text. I kept going over it, reading it again and again. Ed Sheeran. I couldn’t wrap my head around it. But the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. That must have been the reason why he was covering up so much at the airport, and according to the news he had been gone for about a year now, and so he probably just got back from his break. I just couldn’t believe why he would want to get to know me? I’m hardly that interesting. I decided to text him again, I needed to know more.

**Me: Oh wow. It’s not every day your favourite singer just pops into your life haha. Now I am curious Mr Sheeran, what about me is so intriguing? **

I pressed send and felt my heart beating really fast. This was all so weird. I had been listening to his music for over ten years, imagining things and even crushing on him at one point, and here he was all of a sudden. Before I knew it my phone vibrated again. I didn’t hesitate before opening the text.

**Ed: Aww really? How long have you been listening to my music? Everything about you is intriguing Hana. The way you were writing in that notebook of yours at the airport, there were so many emotions on your face… Not to mention how beautiful you are**

I blushed at that. No one had ever called me beautiful except my mum. It was weird hearing it from him, but it also made me feel all warm inside. I wanted to believe him, I wanted to let go of all my worries and just embrace this feeling he gave me. But I couldn’t. I sighed and started typing a text.

**Me: Oh I’ve been listening to your music for ages…. way before you got this famous haha. It helped me go through a lot, thank you. I’m not that interesting Ed, and there’s so much emotional luggage in my life, you’re better off without it. **

As I sent that I felt my eyes well up a little. It hurt to reject him like this, but I couldn’t put him through my life and my many problems. He deserved someone easy, someone who could make his life good. I didn’t have anything to offer him. I decided to put my phone away, I needed some space, this had all been so overwhelming for me. I left my room and left my phone on my bed, I went into the kitchen to find something to eat. I shook my head at my habits, I would always seek comfort in food. I grabbed some ice cream and was about to head into the living room when I heard my phone ringing. I raised an eyebrow and went into my room, grabbing my phone and answering straight away, thinking its my mum.

“Hello?” I said casually in Swedish, and the person on the other line went quiet. I furrowed my eyebrows, maybe this was some sort of prank call. But suddenly the person cleared its voice and I could tell it was a man. No, it couldn’t be him.

“Hana?” he said, my name rolling off his tongue so easily. I sat there quiet for a while, holding the phone to my ears, my hands shaking. I never liked talking on the phone.

“Hi” I whispered and waited for him to say something.

“I’m sorry I called you out of the blue, but you weren’t answering my texts and I got worried,” he said, his thick British accent sending shivers down my spine.

“There was nothing else for me to say, I told you everything I wanted to in that text Ed, I don’t have anything to offer you,” I said softly and I heard him sigh on the other line.

“I wish you would tell me what’s really on your mind, I can tell there is something you’re hiding from me, a secret you haven’t let anyone take part of, whatever it is its dragging you down and it makes me so upset, you deserve to smile” he said and I inhaled deeply, he could read me like a book.

“You can’t fix me, Ed. No one can.” I whispered before hanging up the phone. He called me again but I declined his call, and put my phone away. For the rest of the day he kept texting me, begging me to answer but I just decided to ignore him. He couldn’t help me, no one could.


	4. Chapter three

**Chapter 3**

**Ed’s Pov**

Ever since our phone call, I tried texting her every day, but she never replied back and she didn’t even open my texts. I had been rejected by quite a few girls before and I had always been able to move on, but I couldn’t with her. She haunted my dreams and every time I closed my eyes I’d see her beautiful brown eyes filled with sadness. I kept myself busy throughout the day with work, but she was still always on the back of my mind. She stole my heart that day in the airport and I knew that she would always have my heart. I just wish she’d give me a chance. I sighed and got out of bed, I had spent enough time feeling sorry for myself and I still needed to unpack my bag. I had left it there after I came back from Tokyo and it had been lying there for a few weeks now.

I grabbed my hand luggage first, and just turned it upside down and emptied it on the bed. Along with my belongings, a notebook fell down as well and I knew it wasn’t mine because I didn’t bring any notebooks with me. I grabbed it and turned it over and my eyes widened as I saw what it said on the front. “_Diary_,” it said and I knew instantly it must be Hana’s.

“Shit” I said loudly. I must have grabbed her notebook by mistake as I was grabbing my own things at the airport. I sat down, forgetting my things I had to unpack, and opened the notebook. I flipped through the first few pages until one particular sentence caught my eye.

_I feel empty. _

I read that sentence over and over again. It was a short sentence, only three words, but the impact of what they meant hit me hard. I almost couldn’t bear to read the rest of it, but I decided I should. I needed to understand her, get a glimpse of what she was dealing with. So I kept on reading.

_I’m sat here at this airport, there are people surrounding me, I’m not alone. Then why does it feel like I’m in a dark room, trying to navigate life on my own? It's like someone has blindfolded me and taken me to this place far far away and left me on my own, to find my back home. The old Hana, the Hana that used to find the smallest things funny, the Hana that would smile all the time, she’s gone. She left and all there’s left is this thing walking around trying to navigate herself through life. _

_I keep looking at myself in the mirror. I hate everything about me. But my looks aren’t everything, I hate myself, the essence of what makes me, that’s what I hate. I’ve let so many people down ever since my father died. And I keep letting people down. Sometimes I wish I could just disappear, nobody would care anyway. _

As I finished reading, I had to put the notebook down. How could someone carry this much weight on them without breaking? This is why she is holding herself back. She thinks she’ll be a burden for me. She doesn’t want to bother me with her troubles. I shook my head. I had to talk to her. No, I needed to talk to her. Be there for her. But how? Suddenly I had an idea. I took out my phone and dialled Stuart. He picked up on the second ring.

“What’s up Ed?” he said and I could tell he sounded surprised. I don’t blame him, one day I just called and said I needed a break and left, I hadn’t called him since.

“Hey, Stuart are you okay?” I said, figuring it would be rude if I just called him out of the blue.

“Ed, you haven’t called in over six months since you left, what's up?” he asked again and I sighed.

“Could we possibly arrange a gig in Sweden?” I asked quickly and he went quiet.

“Are you sure you’re ready to come back?” he said and I smiled. I was ready, but more importantly, I needed to find Hana.

“Yes I am Stu, just please tell me you can get a gig sorted? I’ll agree to anything.” I said quickly

“Hmmm well Swedish Idol is on at the moment, and I’m sure they’d love to have you on if you agree to sing with the contestants,” he said and I groaned immediately. I hated these kinds of gigs, but more so I hated singing with other contestants, they never really understood my music even if they tried. But I needed to do this, so I sucked it up.

“Alright then, I’ll do whatever they want, just please get me a gig,” I said and he laughed and agreed and told me he’d get back to me when he had it all sorted. I hung up the phone and laid down on my bed again, taking the notebook and holding it against my chest. I had to see her.

**Hana’s Pov:**

Ever since my phone conversation with Ed, I tried to ignore him. He kept texting me, I had over fifty text messages over the past two weeks, but I didn’t open them. He needed to move on, and me texting him back wouldn’t give him closure. As for me, I was used to disappointment, so I tried to get on with it. I had wanted to write about this, but me being me I realised that I had lost my notebook somewhere, and I couldn’t find it anywhere either. I still remembered my mum and my sister having a go at me for losing all my things all the time.

_∞Flashback∞_

_“Mum, have you seen my notebook by any chance? It's purple.” I yelled, frantically going through my things in the room, not finding it anywhere. _

_“No, you know I don’t keep a track of your things, you need to start looking after them properly, how many times have I told you this Hana!” she yelled back and I rolled my eyes. I went over to my sister asking her instead. _

_“Have you seen it?” I asked and she rolled her eyes at me and that made me really annoyed. _

_“You can just say that you’ve not seen it, you don’t have to be rude,” I muttered, walking past her and she just told me I should keep a track of my things. I went back into the room and slammed the door. No one really understood me. _

_∞End flashback∞_

I sighed as I thought about it, but shrugged. It didn’t matter anyway, it was just pieces of paper with some words on them, I walk around with these feelings running through my mind and body all the time, its nothing compared to the little that’s in that book. I shook my head and decided to get back to reality. Today we had a theme day at the school, so us adults had to dress up into younger versions of ourselves, and perform for the kids. Now, this is where it got tricky for me. I couldn’t remember much of my teenage years, so I had to ask for photos.

As I looked at my younger self I couldn’t help but feel sad, I knew every smile on those photos was fake because even at that time my mind was like a raging storm. I ended up deciding to wear a plain black T-shirt with a black and grey plaid shirt on, with a pair of black skinny jeans. I let my hair out, as I used to do when I was younger, applied thick black eyeliner and left the house. As I walked to work I felt a bit nervous, I had chosen to sing as my performance, last time I actually sang was when I was a teenager… I wasn’t even sure if my voice was good, but I was a little excited for this nonetheless. As I reached work, I noticed people looking at me, probably because I was dressed differently, I never dressed this casually nowadays, I always looked smart.

“Hey Hana!” one of my colleagues said and I smiled at him.

“Hey, Stephan!” I said and he gave me a light hug. Stephan was my old teacher in Swedish, and he was going to help me with my performance.

“Tell me what the plan is,” he said and I smiled.

“We’re doing I see fire by Ed Sheeran, just as we planned earlier,” I said and he nodded. Suddenly I thought of something.

“Uhmm I don’t know if this is too last minute, but how about we engage some students in it? Towards the end of the song?” I said and he seemed to love the idea. We agreed that I would be singing by myself and towards the climax of the song, we’d have a few kids on stage, singing with me. I think that would create a really cool vibe to the song. I knew Ed’s songs were unique and no one could really outdo him, so that’s why I wanted to add something extra, I didn’t want it to be one of those corny covers. I knew this had never been done before. A small part of me wished Ed had been here to see this, but on the other hand, I knew this was for the best.

We spent the next two hours planning everything briefly and before I knew it, it was time. We were located in the library, and the whole school was seated in the library and we were on this small stage. We all smiled at the kids and I grabbed a guitar, and sat down by the edge of the stage, where there also was a microphone.

“Hey everyone,” I said and they all went quiet. It was really strange hearing myself across the library. It sort of echoed a little.

“You all know why we are here, and I thought I’d entertain you a little, this is one of my most favourite songs, I hope you’ll love it as much as I do,” I said and then gave the others the signal and they started playing, and I strummed my guitar. After making sure everything was alright, I took a breath and licked my lips before singing.

_“__Oh, misty eye of the mountain below” _I sang and paused for a second, just like Ed did.

_“__Keep careful watch of my brothers' souls_  
And should the sky be filled with fire and smoke  
Keep watching over Durin's son”

As I finished the first verse, I strummed my guitar again and started playing. I continued singing the rest of the song until I reached the climax and my colleague got the kids up on the stage and everyone cheered.

_“And if the night is burning_  
I will cover my eyes  
For if the dark returns then  
My brothers will die  
And as the sky's falling down  
It crashed into this lonely town  
And with that shadow upon the ground  
I hear my people screaming out” as I sang the last verse, my colleague signalled to the kids and they all joined in on the last bit of the song.

_“__Now I see fire, inside the mountain_  
I see fire, burning the trees  
And I see fire, hollowing souls  
And I see fire, blood in the breeze

_I see fire, oh you know I saw a city burning (fire)_  
And I see fire, feel the heat upon my skin (fire)  
And I see fire (fire)  
And I see fire (burn auburn on the mountainside)” I finished off the last bit and as we stopped playing everyone cheered and I smiled. That was amazing.

We spent the rest of the day talking about the performances, the kids didn’t have any classes and I got to finish early. As I got home I went on my phone and to my surprise, he hadn’t texted me once the whole day. I guess he did move on. I just shrugged and went on Instagram. My friend had tagged me in a post saying that Ed Sheeran was coming on the Swedish idol this Friday, apparently, he was going to perform with some contestants. I raised an eyebrow, perform with some contestants? Now that didn’t seem like something he’d agree to. But I brushed it off, my friend kept insisting on us getting tickets and I told her no, I couldn’t go there and see him again, not after everything that’s happened. It would be too painful. I texted my friend for a bit longer before I decided to go to sleep, I was exhausted and frankly, I just wanted to slip away into la-la land for a bit, it was a nice escape from life.

_∞Next morning∞_

I woke up from the sound of my phone ringing. I groaned and looked at the time, it was 5:30 am on a Friday, who would call me this early? Without thinking I grabbed my phone and declined the call without looking at the caller ID. If it was anyone important, they’d call me back later. I put my phone on do not disturb and closed my eyes, falling back to sleep. The next time I woke up it was from my alarm and it was 7 am, time for work. I groaned as I stretched in bed. I had a broken sleep since I already woke up once before, I needed coffee. I got out of bed and went straight into the kitchen, making myself a cup of coffee. I took my phone out and my eyes widened slightly as I had four missed calls and over ten text messages, all of them from Ed. I sighed. But I decided to open his recent texts.

**Ed: Hana I know the chances of you reading this or picking up your phone are small, but if you do read this then please call me. I’m in Sweden, Stockholm, just got here today. I really want to see you, please give me a call or a text. **

I frowned as I read his text. I pondered for a bit, thinking of all the possible scenarios that could play out if I texted him back. Would he come here? Sweep me off my feet? Would we live happily ever after? I shook my head. There was no way he was interested in me in that way. He probably just wanted to be friends. I couldn’t risk that. So I decided to leave it. I went on with my regular routine of getting ready for work, and by the time I was done I had received three more texts from him, but I ignored them all. I went to work, getting ready for the usual routine that was my life. No, there’s no way we would end up together.


	5. Chapter four

**Chapter 4**

The rest of the day at work went by fairly quickly, even though I was really tired. Before I knew it, it was almost 5 pm, time for me to wrap up and go back home. As I was getting my things, my phone rang and I had a quick look, seeing my friend Nina’s name on the screen. I sighed, I knew what she wanted to talk about. Nevertheless, I pressed answer, and left my office.

“Hey girl!” she said excitedly on the other line and I rolled my eyes.

“Hey Nina,” I said softly, I was never as loud as she was.

“I got tickets, Hana! Me and my brother will be going to see Ed tonight at Swedish idol!”she practically screamed in my ear and I grimaced.

“Aww I’m happy for you, you’ll let me know how it goes?” I asked, trying to sound interested for her sake.

“Of course I will, I still wish you’d come with me though,” she said, almost pleading me.

“No, I’m sorry Nina, I’m so tired and I have to make dinner tonight,” I said softly and I heard her sigh on the other end.

“At least watch it on the tv tonight?“ she asked and I agreed. Watching it on tv wouldn’t hurt me one bit. After talking to her on the phone, I got home and went straight into the shower. I felt gross. After getting out of the shower, I spent some time with my sister and my mum, before getting to dinner. I decided to make spaghetti Bolognese. It was something easy that I knew they both liked. I spent a good hour in the kitchen, and then we all had dinner together. At around 8 pm, I got the chance to have the tv for myself and decided to put on Swedish Idol. As I was making myself comfortable, I decided I’d text him. I had been feeling lonely all day and I felt this urge to text him.

**Me: Good luck tonight xx**

I bit my lip but sent the text anyway. I put my phone away and started watching the show. After ten minutes my phone buzzed.

**Ed: Thank you. **

**Ed: I wish you were here to see it though… I’ve missed you.**

I smiled a bit. How could one person have this effect on me? Against my better judgement, I decided to text him back.

**Me: I’m watching it on Tv at home :) **

As soon as I hit send, my message was marked with “read” meaning that he was on his phone, waiting for me to text back. Somehow that made me feel emotional, he actually wanted to hear back from me. Before I knew it he had replied.

**Ed: I’m glad you are, thank you. Hana, I’m singing for you tonight. Can I call you after I’m done?**

I took a deep breath. He was singing for _me_. Was that the reason he had been calling and texting a lot? Did he come here for me? I wanted to talk to him this time, I needed to know why.

**Me: Are you busy after all this? The studio you’re at is really close to my house, I can drive up and we can talk?**

My heart was racing as I pressed send. This was so bold. So unlike me. But I had a feeling that this was my last chance to see him. And as much as I was scared, I needed to see him, even if it was for the last time. My phone buzzed again and I took a deep breath before looking at the text, I was scared he’d say no.

**Ed: Yes, please! But I don’t want you driving at night, can you text me your address and I’ll have someone pick you up? **

I couldn’t help but smile slightly as I read his text. After giving it some thought, I texted him my address and he replied saying he’d get someone to pick me up. I spent the next hour or so getting ready. I had the tv on still as I applied some makeup to my face and straightened my long hair. I wanted to make some effort in seeing him this time. I chose to wear a denim shirt with black skinny jeans and a pair of Chelsea boots. When I was done, I sat down just in time for Ed’s first performance. He performed I see fire with the contestants. The first part was amazing as he sang it solo, but I could see it in his eyes that he hated the bit where the others came in, they were talented, yes, but they completely ruined the vibe of the song. I laughed a little, no one could truly sing like him.

After some time it was time to vote and just as I was about to sit down again, my phone buzzed and it was the driver, leting me know he was downstairs. I wasn’t ready for that, I thought I was meeting him after the show. I put my coat on nonetheless, getting out of the house and locking the door. As I went downstairs, my phone buzzed again and this time it was Ed.

**Ed: I hope it’s okay that you come earlier, I really want you to be there for my last performance.**

I smiled and let him know it was okay. Once I was out of the house, I went into the car that was parked right outside my door. I was silent as the driver drove me to the studio. The drive wasn’t that long, as the studio where the live Friday shows are held, happens to be about ten minutes from where I live. Once we got there, a security guard met up with me and told me to follow him backstage. I gulped. I had never been backstage at any event before. He handed me a badge and showed me to where I could see Ed perform close up. I saw Ed walk up on stage and everyone started screaming. I had forgotten how famous he was.

I blinked as he started strumming his guitar and singing. It was one of his new songs, Thinking out loud. I didn’t know how he did it, but I could feel him singing for me, _about me_. And that made me feel really emotional, and nervous. Before I knew it, the song was over and after chatting briefly with the host, Ed was making his way backstage, literally towards me. Within a few seconds, I saw him come up and as soon as he spotted me, he smiled widely at me. He came over and immediately embraced me in a tight hug. For a split second, I didn’t know how to react, but I relaxed and put my arms around him, hugging him back. I unconsciously buried my face in the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent. I could smell the faint scent of tobacco mixed with cologne and what must have been his own scent. He smelled really nice, even though he was sweating a little.

“Hi,” I whispered in his ear, as we were still stood there, hugging. He pulled away and looked straight in my eyes, still smiling. I blushed and looked down but he put two fingers on my chin and pulled my face back up towards his.

“Hey, beautiful.” He said and I couldn’t help but smile. I think we stood there for a good few minutes before someone came and tapped Ed on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry to break you two lovebirds up, but you’ve got that interview left that you so kindly agreed to do.” This man said and Ed groaned.

“Fine fine I’m coming, by the way, Stuart this is Hana,” Ed said and the man turned to me for the first time and gave me a warm smile.

“So you’re the miracle that made this guy come back to me.” He said and reached out to shake my hand. I raised an eyebrow, but smiled and shook his hand.

“Sorry love, I completely forgot about this, give me half an hour and I’ll be back, and don’t you dare move!” Ed said, and I nodded. He squeezed my hand before going to do his interview. I looked around and found myself an empty seat where I slumped down. I still had to wrap my head around everything that had happened. After a while, I started thinking and I realised how stupid I had been to act on impulse like this. Ed was a singer, a famous singer, how would we be able to spend time together? At some point, he’d have to tour, and I lived in Sweden, how would it all play out? After some time I felt someone tapping my shoulder and I looked up and saw that he was back.

“Hey, sorry about that, let’s go somewhere private.” He said and grabbed my hand before I could say anything. He dragged me out of the studio, and I could tell he was excited because he was practically dragging me along.

“Slow down Ed, I’m clumsy at this rate I’ll trip and break my nose,” I said and he laughed and slowed down. After a while we got into a car and sat down, waiting for the driver. He turned to me as we sat down and grabbed my hand and laced his fingers with mine. His skin felt rough against my hand, his fingers were calloused from all the guitar playing and his skin was also a bit dry.

“Why am I here, Ed?” I asked quietly, looking down at our hands. It felt right.

“I want to get to know you, Hana, I want to know what's going through your mind, what keeps you up at night, what makes you laugh and what makes you sad, I want you in my life,” he said and I just looked at him.

“But how is that going to work?” I whispered and he smiled reassuringly.

“It will work, we’ll take it as slow as you want to, and I’ll fly over here or fly you over whenever you want to,” he said and for a moment his eyes flickered down to my lips. I was biting my bottom lip and he traced it with his finger and leaned in. Just as his lips were about to touch mine, I turned my face so he kissed my cheek instead.

“I’m sorry, I’m just not ready,” I said and he just smiled.

“Its okay love, I’m never going to force you into anything, I just got caught up in the moment,” he said and I nodded. I squeezed his hand, reassuring him and he smiled again.

“How long are you here for?” I asked him thinking he only was here for the night.

“A few days love.” He said and I smiled.

“Fancy going for a McDonald’s ice cream date now?” I asked shyly and he laughed.

“Never thought you’d ask that sounds perfect to me, love,” he said and I giggled.

“They have the best ice cream,” I shrugged, and he agreed. The whole car ride he didn’t let go of my hand. I felt as if I was floating on air and I didn’t want the night to end.


	6. Chapter five

**Chapter five**

The driver drove us to the nearest Mcdonalds and I introduced Ed to Mcflurry Daim. I still couldn’t believe he’d never had one before.

“I’m telling you it’s a Swedish thing, we don’t have it in the UK,” he said and I just laughed.

“You’re a famous singer, you’ve been in Sweden numerous times, don’t tell me you’ve never been to McDonald’s here,” I said and he just laughed.

“Are you sure you only want ice cream?” he asked again and I nodded.

  
“The only thing I eat here is the filet o fish anyways and I’m not a big fan of it,” I said and he looked at me weirdly.

“Why is that the only thing you order?” he said and I laughed.

“I’m Muslim Ed, not fully religious but I still do try to keep to a few of the rules,” I said and he had this look of realisation to his face.

“I’m sorry I should’ve realised,” he said and I laughed again.

“It’s okay, it’s not like you can tell anyway, and besides not a lot of people in my family are religious, as far as I know, it’s just me,” I said and he nodded.

“How come it’s just you?” he asked and I raised an eyebrow, no one had ever asked me this before.

“It’s because of my father, he passed away six years ago, and believing in something brings me comfort,” I whispered and he grabbed my hand.

“I’m sorry, can you tell me what happened?” he asked and I nodded.

“He had cancer Ed, brain tumour, he was diagnosed when I was three and he passed away when I was fifteen almost sixteen,” I said and he looked at me, I could see so many emotions in his eyes, but pity wasn’t one of them. That made me feel safe. I hated when people pitied me.

“I’m really sorry Hana, that must have been difficult for you and your family, I can’t even imagine the pain,” he said and I nodded.

“Thank you,” I whispered and he gave me a small smile in return.

“The day I met you, you were wearing a headscarf?” he asked and I closed my eyes briefly, glad that he had changed the subject.

“I was on holiday in Iran, visiting my family, you have to wear one over there, it’s the law,” I said softly and he nodded. He grabbed my hand again, this time rubbing small circles on my hand, and I smiled. It felt good. For a moment his shirt sleeve slid up slightly and I spotted a few of his colourful tattoos.

“I’ve always wondered, how come you get so many tattoos? I mean its almost as you get them spontaneously,” I asked and he laughed.

“I’ve always been fascinated by tattoos love, and now I just get one whenever I see something that makes me happy, some people take photos, I get inked,” he said and I laughed.

“That’s really cool, I wish I could be like that,” I said and he looked at me and raised an eyebrow.

“There’s no reason you can’t be love, do you have any tattoos?” he asked and I blushed.

“I do actually,” I said and he gasped.

“Show me show me show me!” he said and I laughed. He was such a child sometimes. I pulled my shirt sleeve up slightly to show him the faded tattoo on my wrist.

“I got this one as soon as I turned 18, my mum hates tattoos and I got just because I could do it without her permission,” I said and he laughed. It was a tattoo of five flying birds.

“That hasn’t been done properly though, it looks very messy,” he said and traced the tattoo with his fingers.

“Yea I know, this is my least favourite and I wish I hadn’t done it,” I said and he laughed.

“Do you have more?” he asked shyly and I nodded.

“I have one on my collarbone and one on my thigh, but that’s difficult to show you,” I said and I watched as his blue eyes got slightly darker, was that lust? No, it couldn’t be.

“Will I get to see them one day?” he whispered, and I gulped.

“Maybe,” I said and he smiled.

“Would you get any more?” he asked and I laughed.

“Probably not, it’s too painful,” I said and he just smiled.

“That’s fine, I love your skin, I wouldn’t want you covering it up like I have when its so smooth and beautiful,” he said and I raised an eyebrow.

“My skin, really?” I asked, raising my eyebrow. He laughed.

“I love everything about you Hana, your big deep brown eyes that I get lost in every time I look at you, your one dimple that appear as soon as you smile, your lips that are full and seem so soft, your small hands that fit in mine perfectly, and yes your skin because its so soft and you have this natural glow about you that I absolutely adore,” he said and I blushed.

“Is that really how you see me?” I asked quietly, almost whispering. When he heard this he just wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tight, holding me close.

“Can I kiss you?” he whispered suddenly and I swallowed deeply. I felt all warm and sweaty all of a sudden and my heart was beating fast. I looked up into his eyes and softly traced my fingers along his slight beard, and he sighed.

“Yes.” I heard myself saying all of a sudden and his head shot up instantly. He smiled at me, and brought his hand up to my face, caressing me softly before his eyes fell on to my lips and he leaned in. He pressed his lips to mine, gently, and they were so soft against mine. I felt myself relax under his touch and unconsciously wrapped my arms around his neck. I felt him smile into the kiss and start to move his lips against mine. This was all new to me, but eventually, I mimicked his actions and kissed him back. He let out a groan as I kissed him back and pressed me tightly against him. The kiss started out slow and intimate, but I soon felt myself kissing him with more fever than before, and I moaned slightly as his tongue traced my bottom lip. My mouth opened, letting his tongue in and I felt his hands move further down my waist. I was suddenly very aware of what we were doing, and with the last strength I had in me, I pulled away from the kiss, breathing heavily.

“Wow,” he said and I blushed, burying my face in his chest.

“I’m not letting you go, Hana,” he said after a while and I looked up.

“Please don’t” I whispered, and he hugged me tighter.

After some time my phone vibrated and I had to let go of Ed. I looked at my phone and I saw that I had a few messages from my mum. I sighed, she was probably worried.

“I’m sorry Ed, I have to go back home, my mums probably worried,” I said and he nodded.

“I’ll take you, home baby,“ he said and grabbed my hand as we got up. We got into the car, and the driver drove towards my house. Before I knew it, I was home and the driver parked up outside my house.

“I’ll see you soon baby, probably tomorrow,” he said before pulling me in for a short kiss. I blushed as we pulled apart and he laughed.

“Okay, see you soon,” I said and he smiled before letting me get out. As I stepped out of the car, my legs felt really wobbly, I had to steady myself as I walked up the stairs and into my house. As I got home, I removed my makeup and my phone vibrated as I dried my face.

**Ed: I’m so glad I got to see you today baby. Thank you. I can’t wait to feel your lips on mine again…..also babe what’s your snapchat? xx**

I laughed at his text and quickly texted him back. He added me on snapchat and for the rest of the night he snapped me and I fell asleep with my phone in my hand. I had never slept better. 


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

The next morning, I woke up to my alarm at 7 am sharp. I groaned as I realised it was only Saturday and my alarm was set up by mistake. I quickly turned it off and had a look at my messages. I had a few from Ed. I still could not believe how everything had turned out. I smiled at the thought of last night and traced my finger along my lips, remembering how soft his lips had felt on mine. I decided to text him, and then go back to sleep.

**Me: Good morning xx. **

I woke up by the sound of my phone vibrating. I was a light sleeper, so usually anything woke me up. I grabbed my phone and blinked, squeezing my eyes shut for a moment as I still felt sleepy. Once I opened my eyes fully I realised I had missed my call and took a look at my phone to see who it was. My eyes widened when I realised that I had 10 missed calls from Ed and about a dozen text messages. I scrolled to the top of my messages and started reading his texts.

_[7:07 am]_

**Ed: Morning darling, you’re up early, missed me that much? ;) **

_[8:00 am]_

**Ed: Babe?**

_[9:30 am]_

**Ed: Babe why aren’t you picking up?! **

I rolled my eyes and quickly called him back, laying in bed and stretching as I waited for him to pick up. I bit my lip as I waited, realising that I felt a little bit nervous about speaking to him again. Everything that happened last night felt surreal. After a few rings, he picked up and I took a deep breath.

“Hana?!” he practically shouted as soon as he picked up and I grimaced.

“Well hello to you too Mr Sheeran,” I said dryly, slightly annoyed that he shouted at me first thing in the morning. I wasn’t even a morning person, to begin with, and this certainly didn’t help with my mood.

“Don’t give me sarcasm babe, where have you been?” he whined, and I rolled my eyes. This man had no idea what he was getting himself into by talking to me like this in the morning.

“I fell asleep, it’s Saturday,” I said as I rubbed my eyes. I could hear him sigh on the other end and I instantly felt bad for being sarcastic.

“I just thought you’d gone back to ignoring me like before, I know things escalated last night and I thought I lost you again.” He breathed out and I shut my eyes, now I really felt bad.

“I’m sorry, that’s not the case at all Ed, last night was amazing,” I said shyly, dragging the words out a little, I really did feel guilty.

“Really?” he whispered, and I smiled. I could tell that behind the mask that he was carrying, he was an insecure guy, a normal guy feeling nervous about me.

“Yes, really. I can’t stop thinking about it.” I said shyly, and I could feel my cheeks burning up. This whole thing was new for me, and I had no idea what to expect or what to do.

“Me neither baby and I plan on kissing you as soon as I see you again, it’s been too long.” He said and I blushed even more.

“It’s only been a few hours Ed,” I said and laughed. I still couldn’t understand how one person could have such an effect on me. I felt weak at the knees just by talking to him on the phone.

“Exactly, it’s been far too long love, I’m picking you up in half an hour, get ready.” He said quickly and before I could say anything he said goodbye and hung up on me. That was cheeky, he made plans before I could say anything, as he knew I would probably say no. I groaned as I got out of bed, grabbing a few clothes and my towel, before hopping into the shower.

I put some music on before I got in, sighing as the hot water hit my skin. I loved scalding hot showers, it was so relaxing. I found myself humming to the song that was playing as I lathered my hair in shampoo and enjoyed my shower. A part of me was wishing I had Ed with me in the shower, but as soon as I realised what I was thinking about, I blushed and shook my head. This man was really getting to me.

As I got out of the shower I quickly got changed and headed over to put some makeup on. I looked at my reflection and grimaced at my face, my skin was acting up and my face looked dull. What did he see in me? I shook my head and started covering my face in makeup, applying thick eyeliner to look more awake, and layering the concealer under my eyes to cover my eyebags. I finished my makeup off by applying some lipgloss and brushed my hair before nodding at my reflection, I was ready to go. I grabbed my phone and my purse, before leaving my room. As I was leaving I noticed my mum for the first time that morning.

“Are you going out Hana?” she said and I sighed.

“Yea I’m meeting a friend, I might be home late tonight,” I said and she raised an eyebrow.

“It’s 10 am honey, what are you going to be doing for the whole day?” she asked and I laughed briefly, my mum was clever.

“One of my friends is moving from Stockholm mum, so I’m helping her with her stuff and spending time with her,” I said and I was surprised at how easily the lie came out of my lips, I never lied and I always struggled when I did.

“Well alright honey, just make sure you don’t come back too late, we’re going to your uncle’s tomorrow,” she said and I nodded. I smiled at the idea of going to my uncle, it was nice to spend some time with the family from time to time.

“I will, bye mum,” I said and she smiled before letting me go. I left the flat and locked the door. I walked down the stairs and as soon as I came out, I saw the car parked right in front of my flat. My eyes widened, if my mum looked out the window she would see me getting into the car, and she would find it weird. I quickly got into the car and before I could sit down, I was engulfed in a tight hug and for a moment, all I could see was his bright ginger hair. I laughed and hugged him back. After some time, he pulled away and dragged me closer to him, wrapping his arms around me. I leaned my head onto his shoulder.

“You know we’re not supposed to sit like this in a car Ed,” I said and he laughed.

“I don’t care, baby, I’ve missed you.” He whispered into my ear, making me shudder and I could feel the goosebumps on my skin.

“I’m right here,” I said softly, making him tighten his grip around me. After a while I realised, I had no idea where we were going. I tilted my head up to look him in the eyes and he smiled down at me.

“Where are we going, Ed?” I asked and he looked at me for a moment before kissing my forehead, making me blush again.

“Back to my hotel baby, I hope you don’t mind but I’m feeling like cuddling up all day,” he said and I smiled before shaking my head.

“Well Mr Sheeran it appears to be that you don’t only have a knack for writing amazing songs, but you also seem to know exactly what to say,” I said and he laughed.

“Have I told you how beautiful you look today baby?” he whispered into my ear and I shook my head.

“I look normal Ed,” I said and he shook his head before grabbing my face with his hands, running a finger along my cheek and looking deep into my eyes. Before I knew it, his lips were on mine and I sighed into the kiss. I felt him smile into the kiss when I kissed him back, wrapping my arms around his neck. I felt his tongue brush against my bottom lip, and I moaned slightly as I let his tongue enter my mouth. Just before the kiss got more intense, we hit a speedbump and I laughed as we had to pull away.

“I told you, we’re not supposed to sit like this in a car, Ed,” I said and he laughed, pulling me back to him when I pulled away.

“Nah, this is exactly how we should sit in the car.” He said and I shook my head. After a while, we arrived at his hotel, the car parked up back and we entered the hotel from the back as well, to not get any attention on us. The last thing I wanted was to be photographed with Ed in public, before having a chance to explain everything to my family. As we got inside, he grabbed my hand and pulled me in the direction of his room, I could tell how excited he was.

When we entered his room, my eyes widened at how big it was. I had never been inside a hotel room this big, it was twice the size of my room at home and his bed was triple the size of my single bed. I blushed at the idea of us spending time in his bed, but I quickly shook my head, I didn’t want to be awkward.

“Wow, this room is huge,” I said out loud, without thinking and I mentally slapped myself, so much for not being awkward. Before I could reflect any further, I could feel Ed wrap his arms around me, hugging me from behind. I smiled at this and leaned into his touch.

“I know right, it gets awfully lonely in here.” He whispered and I laughed before turning around and looking into his eyes. He had the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen.

“Your eyes are really blue,” I said, again without thinking and he laughed, rubbing his nose against mine, making me laugh.

“So, what do you have planned Mr Sheeran?” I asked and he didn’t say anything, he just pulled me with him to the bed, wrapping his arms around me as soon as we were laying down.

“What am I supposed to do when you leave,” I said, making him sigh and I closed my eyes, I hadn’t thought this through. He was leaving tonight and there wasn’t anything I could do about it.

“I’ll fly you out to London next week?” he whispered and I shook my head.

“I’ve got work Ed, I can’t just leave like that,” I said and he swiftly turned me around so I was facing him, whilst still having his arms wrapped around me tightly.

“You don’t need to work babe.” He whined and I laughed.

“Yes I do, some of us need to earn money,” I said as I poked his chest with my finger.

“I know I know, just please come to London, I want you with me for a few weeks.” He said and I closed my eyes.

“It’s not that simple Ed, I need to arrange things with work, not to mention my family,” I said and he looked at me intently. I could tell he was thinking because his brows were furrowed and he seemed lost in his thoughts.

“What if I asked you to move in with me?” he said out of the blue and I raised an eyebrow.

“It’s too soon for that Ed, and you know it,” I said softly and he sighed.

“I know baby, but our circumstances are different.” He said and I nodded, this I couldn’t disagree with him on.

“You know what, give me a few days and I’ll see if I can get a few days off work, if I can I’ll come over and then we’ll take it from there?” I asked and he nodded.

“Just make sure you don’t get me waiting too long.” He said and I laughed.

“I’ll try my best, now can we please take a nap, you destroyed my sleep this morning,” I whined and he laughed before pulling his shirt off and taking his pants off, leaving me with my eyes wide open.

“What?” he asked as he looked at my expression.

“I said nap, not strip,” I said and he laughed.

“I’m just getting comfy baby, you sure you want to sleep in those jeans?” he said and I giggled, the man had a point.

“I’ll take them off on one condition,” I said, making him smile.

“And what is that?” he said, smirking at me.

“You close your eyes and you hand me something to wear.” I shrugged and he laughed, before getting up and handing me a pair of his joggers.

“Here you go babe, and I won’t look, although I would prefer it if you’d let me feel your legs.” He said and I blushed, making him laugh again.

“You’re adorable darling, don’t worry I’d never make you do something you don’t want to do.” He said and I smiled. I quickly got changed and got back into bed, and as he promised, he had kept his eyes shut until he felt me get back into bed. He pecked my lips before wrapping his arms around me again, and I smiled. I could definitely get used to this.

“Sleep baby.” He said and I yawned, closing my eyes and feeling myself drift off.


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

I groaned as I opened my eyes, wondering for how long I’d been asleep. This was probably the best sleep I’ve had, and I shook my head as I realised where I was. I looked down at Ed’s arm that was loosely draped across my waist, and I smiled. It was real, this was happening. I carefully got out of bed, making sure not to wake him up, and tiptoed to the bathroom, feeling the material of his joggers sliding down my waist. They were far too big on me, and the legs were really long, and I had to fold them up so I didn’t trip over them. After I was done at the bathroom I looked at myself briefly in the mirror before shaking my head and washing my hands. I grabbed my phone on the way out and my eyes widneed as I realised that it was 4 pm, we had slept for hours.

“Where did you go baby?” he whined as I got back into bed, and I looked over at him, laughing at his appearance. His hair was all over the place and his eyes were half-closed, and he was squinting at me because his glasses weren’t on.

“I just went to pee babe,” I said and he laughed.

“Well come back to bed now.” He said and before I could say anything, he grabbed me and pushed me back into bed, slamming his lips against mine as soon as I got in. He kissed me with such fever, and this time his hands moved from the usual place around my waist until they rested on my hips. I gasped as I felt his hands fingers rubbing against my hips, and he took this as an opportunity to slide his tongue into my mouth, moaning as he did so. Once I felt his hands move down, I pulled away from the kiss, realising that I was out of breath.

“What was that?” I asked after I collected myself and he smirked.

“You look sexy in my clothes.” He said simply and I laughed.

“I look ridiculous, your joggers are massive,” I said and he shook his head.

“From now on you’re wearing my stuff to bed.” He said and I laughed, feeling my heart race at his reaction.

“Well, I guess you should give me a t-shirt then, rather than these joggers because I swear I’ll trip and break something,” I muttered and he laughed before getting up and grabbing a t-shirt and then chucking it at me, winking. I rolled my eyes, I had walked in on that one.

“You know the rules, close your eyes,” I said and he laughed. I quickly got out of the joggers and out of the top I was wearing, and put the t-shirt he gave me, on. The t-shirt smelled like him, and I kind of wish I could keep it. As I was lost in my thoughts, I hadn’t noticed that Ed glanced at me briefly as I changed, before closing his eyes.

“Hey, I told you to close your eyes!” I said, smacking him lightly on his arm as I noticed that he had looked.

“I did!” he said and I laughed.

“No you didn’t, I saw you smirking at me,” I said and he just pulled me into his lap, making me straddle him as he instantly pressed his lips against mine again. As I kissed him back, I could feel something hard against my thigh and I blushed. I pulled back and he groaned.

“You’re going to be the death of me,” he said and I laughed, burying my face in his chest. Just a moment after, my stomach grumbled, making me blush even more and he laughed.

“Let’s go get you something to eat before you shout at me.” He said and I raised an eyebrow but got up regardless. I didn’t realise just how hungry I was.

“Can’t we just order something?” he asked me, pulling me down back on his lap, just as I had gotten up.

“Of course we can,” I said as I laughed at his antiques. He just smiled and leaned in to kiss me again. Before I knew it, we were back in the same situation as before. Except this time I found myself letting his hand wander across my body, and I didn’t want him to stop. After some time he pulled away and started kissing my neck, and I couldn’t help but moan.

“We should probably stop.” I breathed out as he kissed my neck, making me hiss as he gently bit down.

“What if I don’t want to stop?” he whispered and I looked into his eyes and sighed.

“I’ve never done this before,” I whispered, looking away. I felt embarrassed, I was 22 years old and had no idea of what I was doing.

“Baby, it’s okay.” He said and I shook my head.

“I know you’re probably used to girls that are experienced and ready for anything, I’m sorry I can’t offer you that,” I whispered and got out of the bed. I truly felt awful, a part of me wanted to keep going and explore this with him, but a part of me worried about not being good enough for him. I had no idea what to do and I didn’t want to disappoint him.

“Hana don’t be silly, why would you say something like that?” he said and I could tell he was hurt.

“I just, I have no idea what to do or what to expect, and I’m not sure I’ll be able to ermm satisfy you completely,” I whispered, feeling my cheeks heat up. Damnit, why did I have to blush every single time. I covered my face with my hands, turning the other way as I was feeling uncomfortable. I felt him moving and walking up to me. He slowly moved my hands from my face and put his fingers on my chin, pulling my face up so I was facing him. He had this deep, serious look in his eyes, and his eyes had gone slightly darker. I couldn’t tell if it was out of lust or anger or something else. Whatever it was, I could tell he was feeling something very intense, just by the way he was looking at me.

“You know what my favourite thing about you is?” he whispered and I blinked, not ready for his question. I remained silent, indicating that I was confused and had no idea what he was talking about.

“Your eyes, it was the first thing I noticed about you that night at the airport.” He said and I inhaled deeply.

“They’re this rich shade of brown you know, like chocolate but at the same time there’s this depth to them, and as soon as I looked into your eyes I felt like I was drowning in them. I saw so many things in your eyes Hana, sadness, love, and I realised that I was hooked, I was drunk already without even taking a sip, without even talking to you.” He said and I just stared at him. No one had ever spoken to me in this way before, and I wasn’t used to it.

“Then I noticed your face, your perfect nose, your thick eyebrows, your full lips that I can’t get enough of.” He said as he grabbed my hand and laced his fingers with mine.

“Then I noticed how tiny you are compared to me, like how my hand is twice the size of yours and how my joggers were too big on you.” He said, making me laugh a little over the last thing he said.

“I want you, in every way possible and I don’t want you to talk like that, you’re one in a million and you can’t even compare to anyone else. You might think I’m being possessive but I do enjoy the fact that I’ll be the first one you’re with, I want to experience it with you, and share many other ‘firsts’ with you.” He said and before he could finish what he said, I grabbed his hair and pulled his face down to mine and kissed him.

“Make love to me, Ed.” I whispered into his ear, and he instantly lifted me up, and I wrapped my legs around his waist as he walked back towards the bed.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi,  
This is my first ever work. This story came to me in a dream, and a lot of it is based on personal experiences, while a lot of it is imagined. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I've enjoyed writing it. Please let me know what you think!!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Ed Sheeran, and anything related to him or his work that I have mentioned in my story is purely imagined, all rights goes to him and his music and the label.  
However, I do own rights to any original characters made by me, that includes Hana, any members of her family, and any other named characters. I do not allow this story to be spread anywhere else if it is not by me.


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